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December 20, 2012

Richy’s Rants: ShoeDazzle Survival Guide

Tomorrow, as you may have heard, the world may or may not end. Experts say the world faces an array of problems that’ll end civilization as we know it on 12/21/12.  ShoeDazzle and I want to make sure you’re prepared for each scenario. So, on the eve of Armageddon, I present to you our Survival Guide.

Scenario 1: Depleted Resources

If we run out of oil, stay slick in Fay. She loves liquid leggings and Texas gold accessories. Mix metals; it’s the end of the world, people.

Scenario 2: Drought

If water’s the problem, quench your thirst in Ece; she works well with cropped trousers, previously known as “high waters.”

Scenario 3: Alien Invasion

If aliens invade, reach for your Dangers to let them know you come in peace to take them to your fashionable leader.

Scenario 4: Biohazards

In case of bio weapons, go Over The Top. One thing I’ve learned in my short time on this planet: going to the Emerald City solves everything.

Scenario 5: Zombies

In the event of a Zombie Apocalypse, best pack your Pella full of bricks and your favorite apocalypstick, because you can do some serious damage swinging that thing—and look sexy doing it.

 

Richy T,  – It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I look fine. Apocalypstick.